People often fear having high standards will drive people away. And it may. That is exactly the point of standards – to remove the people that don’t meet them and attract the people that do. Trust that even if you lose people who don’t want to live up to your standards, there will be others that choose to be in your life because you do have high standards.
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About awentherapy
I am Jay Blevins, LMFT (www.awentherapy.com). I am a licensed systems therapist with a private practice in Madison, WI. While I work with individuals and partners around a wide variety of issues, my primary focus in on alternative relationship structures, alternative sex and sexuality, and power dynamics. I am a contributor to various relationship and sexuality blogs and publications and have been a frequent presenter at alternative lifestyle events and psychotherapy conferences.
I completely agree. I have high standards for people in general because I feel that if I can be a certain way so can other people. But I do try and make all my relationships/friendships last.
Well said! Couldn’t agree more 🙂
Reblogged this on Peppermint Sea and commented:
A great reminder that you do not have to compromise your standards when you meet a prospective partner – I thought I did for years, I thought I had to “put up with” various aspects of their personalities that I didn’t actually like. Then I wrote a list (after reading “Are you the one for me” of the 50 or so qualities I was looking for in a partner and low and behold – he appeared!!
Of course, he’s not perfect, but I love (as the lyrics of the song currently playing say) his “perfect imperfections” too.