Little Victories…

Little VictoriesCelebrating accomplishments is fun. It might be when we complete a big project or win an award. It can be completing a degree or getting a job promotion. Maybe you are getting married or having a baby. Those, and many other things, are exciting events. They are worth celebrating.

It would be great if life was series of incredible accomplishments and joyful occasions. But it isn’t. In reality life it made up of many small moments with the dramatic ones popping up only once in awhile. When the pop up fairly regularly it can be enough to sustain us through the days when big wonderful things aren’t happening.

But sometimes they don’t happen regularly. In fact, sometimes we go through periods that aren’t terrible, but are uneventful. There are no major accomplishments, no big victories. And it can become easy to start feeling defeated.

When that feeling of defeat sets in it alters our perspective. When something doesn’t go our way we magnify the importance of it. We use it to support our negative self-view and show just how badly things are going. We even begin to see things that aren’t negative and find ways to spin them as negative. That downward spiral can be very difficult to bring to a halt.

What we often forget is that those big victories don’t just happen in a vacuum. They are supported by tons of small victories every day. Even the days when it seemed like “nothing happened” are part of what lead to the big victory. Because you got of out bed that day. Because you made it through to the next day. Because you didn’t quit.

We love to talk about how certain famous people rocketed to stardom overnight. They are an overnight sensation. But the truth is no one really gets there overnight. Time and time again you’ll hear these overnight sensations tell you that from there perspective it was anything but overnight. They put in years, working on their craft, trying to become known. We want life to not be about the small things, but it really is.

When we accept that fact then we can start appreciating the small things, the little victories. Just getting up today. Being nice to someone. Leaving the house. Not giving up. Making a hard phone call. Finishing some paperwork. These and hundreds of other little victories are the ones that get us to the next big one. That big one may be further away than we’d like. Some days it may seem like it will never come. That’s the time to celebrate the little victories…because they are the ones that really get you through life.

Note: I’m pleased to showcase the artwork of Tyler Feder. I found her work on the internet and she graciously allowed me to use it with this post. You can find more of her work at You may be seeing more of her work here, too! Thank you Tyler.

About awentherapy

I am Jay Blevins, LMFT ( I am a licensed systems therapist with a private practice in Madison, WI. While I work with individuals and partners around a wide variety of issues, my primary focus in on alternative relationship structures, alternative sex and sexuality, and power dynamics. I am a contributor to various relationship and sexuality blogs and publications and have been a frequent presenter at alternative lifestyle events and psychotherapy conferences.
This entry was posted in Awen Therapy, Celebrate, Challenges, Change, Defeat, Jay Blevins, MFT, Psychotherapy, Therapy, Tyler Feder, Victories and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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